• Karen

I know very little about football

Yet the news penetrated even my general disinterest. Tom Brady was leaving the Patriots. Now I happen to have a friend who is a sports fanatic to the extent of having spent the last 10 years scripting and producing several blog radio sports shows a week. So by way of conversation I said …

"I saw Tom Brady is moving teams"

His reply: …… that wasn’t so much a surprise, but that his team of choice was more so.

Me: ………Where was he expected to go

His reply: …. the Chargers

Well that flummoxed me a bit ….. by way of explanation I live in San Diego and I knew that they tended to have a less than stellar winning record.

Me: …. The Chargers, why would he have gone there?

His Reply: …… well they have some good, some might say excellent players.

Me : ….. then they either need to change their coaches or hire a decent psychologist because if they have good players then either they aren’t functioning as a team. Or they cave under pressure, not able to produce their best. Either of those scenarios are about the


And I rested my case.

And immediately felt further vindication for my constant refrain that our inner game, our mindset, our identity is the underpinning of everything we do. It is the foundation stone that needs to be firmly set BEFORE we rush or even stroll into living the rest of our lives.

I am acutely aware that these are much touted phrases on the popular internet and social media sites. That there are endless books, courses and massive events held around just these topics. But really this is an intense personal journey that needs to be taken in depth, at a measured pace and with professional support if it is to be truly effective. By that I mean

  • You will have skills and understanding that you can come back to time and time again.

  • That you can utilize in multiple situations over a lifetime.

  • That you can model and transfer to your children so they don’t have to wade through the same mass of fluff and bullsh*t that you probably already have.

Marketing gurus tell us that people rarely buy for pleasure, it’s pain that motivates them. And a few years back and probably still alive today it was suggested that this is even more impactful the more intense and personal this pain picture could be painted. I felt distressed by this approach.

I understood the psychology behind it, after all that was my field of expertise, but I was uncomfortable turning the knife to the point of intensity they were suggesting.

Why would I want to make anyone feel worse than they already did?

I myself had bought courses because I had been the subject of these techniques. Courses I later totally regretted spending money on, as well as the disquieting feeling of manipulation I was left with.

“Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me” meant I continued my journey, honed my art, and become increasingly exasperated by our human desire for quick fixes, or magic wand results. Yet if we walk with our eyes open we can’t help but encounter along the way some wonderful people, and this certainly happened for me. I had my own magical experiences and found exploring both our inner and outer worlds an ongoing fascination.

It is this wonder, this willingness to risk, to define your own adventure and your own path that I want for the people I work with. I want you to be able to navigate the troubled waters as well as be buoyed up by the calm.

I am deeply optimistic as I look to the future, that you our present day young change makers, are working towards. I see a growth in your awareness, in your attitude, in your demands for competence, expertise. I am heartened that you ask for learning that is meaningful and relevant and that connects on multiple levels with a wide variety of people. I love that you ask for what you want and if it isn’t there move on.

Yet I have one very personal plea, and it is this …..

Do you really want to be “sold” the keys to the kingdom or will you come seeking them for yourself?

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